I wanted to write a blog post so many times this week. The main reason I didn't is that people tell me (and J) that we are glass half full people. This is true, but this is one of those times where my mood is just not feeling it and it was showing in my writing. So I have to apologize in advance. I am a big grump lately. I am thirsty for my positive energy back. The demands of life continue, yet I just feel like I am merely going through motions, waiting for something—anything—to happen. I know this is supposed to be the most thankful month, but I also know this mood is temporary.
I definitely think I'm having post-pulmonary embolism blues. I am grateful that I feel MUCH better overall, but I still have a general "unwell" feeling. I feel thankful for some things, like being able to sometimes sleep on my side and stomach without too much pain. I am without a doubt less out of breath, although I am so worried about my diminished lung capacity. I just started yoga and doing light exercising to regain some activity. I still wonder which things are ongoing symptoms or new concerns. The pain is minimal, just hurts most when I sneeze, cough, yawn, take a deep breath, which is why it sucked when I got some sort of cold last week and spent my days ACHOOing and congested. I would love to understand what the heck the blood clot is doing to my body internally, but the mystery remains. At the same time that I am bummed about my medical issues, I try to remind myself how lucky I am that it is not something worse. I've had friends with cancer, lupus and MS and I know it doesn't compare.
And if I'm going to be terribly honest here, I'm going to say the other challenge, but blessing at the same time, is that we are staying with my parents. Clearly, we are no stranger to staying with people as we have made it our job to be athletic hobos who enter every open door. But, #livingatmyparentshouseinmylate30sisnotfun Given my parents' graciousness to open their doors indefinitely to us, can I really complain that the square footage of their house is about the same as our Sprinter van and the fact that you hear every movement and my mom goes to bed at 2am and my dad wakes up at 3am so there is about an hour of quiet unless the cat decides it's time to play? No, I can't. Add to the fact that my parents are helpful in many, MANY ways, so I really can't complain. I can't complain. I can't complain. I can't complain. I thought maybe if I wrote it out multiple times like we used to have to in grammar school would help.
Hey, we signed up for this when we decided to bounce around the country. A few months ago, we decided that post-tour, we would come to NJ for a few weeks. J would help his grandma out by cleaning out her second home (that experience is a whole separate post) and I would continue medical writing. Then, it seemed like perfect timing to have a stable, loving place to stay after my pulmonary embolism. I may be grumpy, but this is really the best place for us.
Plus, of all the places we go, NJ is the place where we have the most family and friends and we've seen SO many of them lately (still many more to see!). We've visited Mr. McKinley, all our godchildren, of course grandmas and extended family I haven't seen since who knows when. Bonus ... we got to go to a Tricky Tray! And to end this note on a positive side, here are pictures from those happy times.
Me & my sis
Lil Monsters, err Niece & Newphew
J's Grandma & Uncle Slick with not-so-little E
Cousins on my mom's side ... can you tell it's an Italian family?
My mom with her brother, sister-in-law, mother, aunt & uncle
PS … We miss life on the road and hopefully will hear soon if we are back on the road in March, so keep your fingers crossed, you may have some house guests in 2014!!
I promise I will not be a Debbie Downer the next time I post!
Labels: Family, Pulmonary Embolism