This was a Very Hard week (with a capital V and H). I started some new contract work and went through daily panic, anxiety and heart attacks. But no snack attacks. That would have been fine. Just the bad kinds of attacks. I And I was a bit of a Drama Queen (again with capitals) and thought I would not come away from the week alive.
Before I get too far ahead of myself, I must preface the story. So to make a long story even longer ... I have this soccer friend who mentioned a long time ago she did freelance layout work for a magazine. I said, hmm, sounds interesting and did she need help? Not at that time, she didn't. When I got laid off, I touched base with her again. A few weeks later, she told me she had to get off the project and it was mine if I wanted.
Here's the short description. It's a biweekly, 60-page auto sales magazine. We use InDesign, Illustrator and Photoshop for the layout (although I haven't touched the latter two since college, I figured it was like riding a bike). The magazine and work is pretty straightforward, but it felt daunting and invigorating at the same time. It was an opportunity to expand my skill set even more as a freelancer and get off unemployment every other week. And who doesn't love a challenge? So I decided to go for it.
Enter computers. My family comes to me when they have computer programs, but hi, I hate computers. They are actually the bane of my existence. When I started getting set up to take over the project a few weeks ago, my friend and I realized that my computer was not up to par for the work. That was freak-out number one. It really messed my computer up, actually, but my friend eventually fixed it back. Still, I decided it would be best to call my new boss and speak the truth. I was not the gal for the job apparently.
But then, the new boss did something unthinkable. He offered to buy me a brand-new, beautiful, fancy MAC computer (not to keep, but to use for the project). Um, problem solved.
So he bought the sweet-ass computer and my friend and I worked again to get me prepped to take over. Then, she left to spend a week in the woods of Maine where she had no cell service. I would be fine! Except that I was really freaking out. I had one friend advise me to have the "F" it attitude. If you keep that attitude, you WILL be amazing. I tried really hard to keep my confidence, but it was definitely not working.
The week and work started. Then the problems came. In droves. It was like everything I did, every action I took on the project was an epic fail. A lot of it was not my fault. There were some really weird technical issues that no one could explain. I believe the computer hated me. Heck, I hated me. I cried. I hoovered in a black cloud of self-pity all week. I spent a lot of time in the bathroom (TMI). While J was getting a healthy dose of sleep every night, I was up staring at the computer asking the big guy upstairs to throw me a bone. I just felt so desperate.
My boss man was so understanding, helpful and encouraging (this guy is truly awesome). He thought I was just so unlucky. We muddled through the week and on Friday, 3 hours after my deadline, I finished the magazine layout. I dread seeing it in print. There were so many work-arounds I had to take that I am afraid it came out terribly (it probably didn't). I even had a dream last night that I saw the magazine on the stand and half the cover was covered with a big white text box.
The experience was utterly horrible and I wanted to quit every step of the way. But I didn't. I am not usually a quitter. My mom taught me that. When I was young, I wanted to quit the swim team after one week. She was adamant about me finishing out the season. Because I made the commitment. But on Friday, I told the boss man that I wanted out. He understood, but complimented my work and stamina and pretty much begged me to give it another shot.
I have since picked myself up off the floor and I am actually considering giving it another shot. Am I crazy? YES. But it's just that everyone else seems to believe in me. And my friend thinks she knows how to fix all the computer issues (brand-new, sweet ass computers are not always awesome). I am not 100% that I will keep the contract work yet, but we shall see ... I will update you.
In the meantime, good thoughts need to be sent J's way for his first triathlon manana! He'll be swimming 10 miles, biking 90 and running 26 ... or a 1/2 mile, 6 miles and 3 miles ... either way, it's a lot of work. And FYI, we did finally make it to the pool for training and didn't drown!Labels: Unemployment