Monday, November 16, 2009

How to not spend any money in a casino

Step 1: Use casino-provided vouchers on your first bet. Place $10 down on #10 for the big wheel spin. Win $100.

Step 2: Using your second casino-provided voucher, place $10 on #5. Collect winnings of $50.

Step 3: Put winnings away. Go home.

Trust me, leave your ATM card at home and just come with me. I have all the discipline. I rarely win anything, but when I do, I know how to hold onto it. Sunday was my day to win.

I'm not a gambler. I just can't part with my money. I play $5 here and there on penny slots. That’s as girls-gone-wild-at-the-casino as I get. I go to the casino for the buffets and people-watching.

J, on the other hand, is into gambling almost as much as he's into concerts and hookers. Okay, just concerts. He’s not into hookers folks.

Usually I have to drag J out of the casino kicking and screaming. When we’ve gone to Laughlin, I leave J at a table to hit the hay for the night and he says "I'll be up in an hour." Which is a blatant lie. Try 5:30 in the a.m. buddy. He aspires to be a dealer. Or in the World Series Poker. Whichever opportunity presents itself first.

Of course, half the time J plays he wins big. This weekend, he won. Not big to him, but big to me (take into consideration I think $5 is a monster takeaway).

Anyways, my winnings stemmed from J’s work (wink, wink) trip to Mohegan Sun Casino. The trip costs $40, which includes the bus ride, 3 bet vouchers to use on the big wheel, and a $15 lunch buffet coupon. So basically, you get your money back. Especially when you play like me. And it’s good for J because there’s a “forced” discipline. He must leave by 4 p.m.

So anyways, I took my $150 and gave $75 to J (good wife I am). In his defense, he did give me his vouchers to play with since he had to make a mad rush for the Texas Hold’Em table. I then put $40 aside as the money I paid to go on the trip. Gambled with the rest and still walked away with an extra $60!

Oh, did I mention I also won concert tickets ($400 face value) to Jimmy Buffet through the casino? I just might be on the luckiest streak of my life. Who wants to rub me? For luck I mean …

Trip down memory lane ... J's biggest win in Laughlin in 2005

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'll rub you....
but not for luck!

The Former PK said...

ewww ... gross. I sure hope that was a comment from my husband.

Creegs said...

I'm going to leave that one alone. Congrats on the big win.

geraldwitt said...

Play on, playa!

I'll take all the luck I can get!

bdonin said...

J LOVES hookers!